Otaku No Blossay

Before taking this course I had never watched an Anime film. What attracted me to take the class was the deep interest I had seen from others of diverse racial backgrounds take in Anime. Most of the males in my life had been or still are big fans of Naruto. Sometimes, references to anime will pop of in rap music for example a line from rapper Robb Bank$ stating, “need a girl with ripped pants like goku after frieza.” And Lupe Fiasco naming his album Tetsuo & Youth which I learned from one of my guy friends is a reference to the movie Akira. I grew up in an area where rap, hip hop, and soul are the prominent music exposures. Growing up only overhearing conversations about Pokémon, Naruto, and witnessing tables in my middle school cafeteria dedicated to groups of boys playing Yu-Gi-Oh cards, I assumed anime was a predominantly male thing to be into with a small minority of girls who preferred that over the Barbie and Disney princess alternative. I was unaware of animes that have female leads. Once in high school everyone (even people not a part of the Yu-Gi-Oh group) was talking about this anime called Spirited Away. Hearing the word “spirit” reminded me of an animated movie I had seen with only horse characters that made me cry. Catching clips of Spirited Away throughout the years, I gauged that it was nothing like my innocent light-hearted horse movie. I remember once thinking that it seemed interesting and scary, and so I should watch it because I had never seen an animation that was somewhat scary. However, being that the people who watched anime in my life were either males who had given it up or an isolated group of people, I assumed I had to be in the know about some chain of events in anime films in order to properly understand Spirited Away. I know, I was blocking my own blessings. The next time anime had appeared in my life someone had told me that they had learned about the seven chakras and the importance of meditation from watching Avatar The Last Airbender. I have always been interested in things having to do with spirituality, so my bias towards anime now changed from something that is an obsession for a certain group of people, to a philosophical animation genre that carries great insight into life and the human body. This information still didn’t prompt me to watch anime, but my beliefs towards it had shifted. Honestly, I’ve never been a viewer of any form of fiction television. I have always loved documentaries of any kind. From the history channel to Forensic Files to Animal Planet. Anyway, the shift in my thinking of anime as a personal preference to a genre of great insight, played a role in what prompted me to sign up for the class. During the class I realized how vast of a genre anime is. I should’ve known that like everything else, anime is complex, ranging from films with deep messages to kitty films. The first couple of films had my full attention. I was drawn into the world of anime. However, few weeks into the semester, the dreadful happened again… I started to become tired all the time-- never being fully present at school. With this tiredness came the somewhat unconscious belief that I couldn’t produce worthy commentary on the anime films. I felt that I had too little experience and everything I would come up with would be shallow. Given the in-depth conversations that would happen in class, I was intimidated to voice something that would sound so shallow that it would be like those comments made by people who participate just for the sake of doing so. I also started to fall asleep during movie screenings and therefore I would feel insecure about posting. I didn’t have a plan for how I was going to pass the class, I was just pushing through the days as a zombie, committing only to work that was familiar to me. Magical Girls week came and I thought “Okay. Enough is enough. You must at least try.” I gave all the episodes my full attention. I ended up having such a great time watching them. Until then, I don’t recall ever seeing shows with females as the intended audience. It was very refreshing understanding the humor and enjoying the added cuteness (like the little black cat in Sailor Moon with an upside down moon on his little forehead). I especially enjoyed Sailor Moon. I found that at the time, I could relate a lot to Sailor V’s laziness and not wanting to get out of bed when it came to school, while being self aware of the self-destruction. I posted for the first time in a while and I received positive feedback. That feedback gave me confidence and energy to work on the work that I’ve missed. If I could do it over again I would, this time with more confidence. I was fearful that everyone including the professor would take my commentary as shallow and irrelevant, but even that would’ve been better than nothing I guess. I am proud that I have gotten over this fear, because now I believe more in my abilities to produce good insight into things I am unfamiliar with among people who are. Will I continue to watch anime films? Absolutely. I am excited to continue watching Cowboy Bebop and Sailor Moon. I am way more open minded about anime films now which is leading me to engage in conversations with others about anime I should watch. I feel like I have been let into a new realm. Like speaking a new language and therefore being able to connect with people I couldn’t have before.